Mangled Thoughts

With the Oz elections out the way, what a relief -another week of it and I would have hit the bottles -yah, not one bottle.

It is time, however, to come to the rescue of our friends across a coulple of paddocks, the Americans.

When Conrad sat down to write Heart of Darkness, he set out out to kill two birds witha single stone, the mongrel Belgains and what a complete savage mess they’d made of the Congo and, John Kerry and the Democrats. I am staggered, absolutely, by what the researches have thrown up.Nostradamus is the mustard and the barbecue sausage resting on the buttered roll - yes, Trinity, Cambridge, please make your offer of a Cahir at the doings a dual professorship, I’ll accept with alacrity - ready to expound next week, can hop aboard a jumbo tonight and be there soon after plane has landed - the studied crash, if you like.

Kurtz, gone native, rather savage, trying to cover up his descent into animal ways by pretending to have been sent beyond the boundaries of the New have Yacht Club into deepest jungle imgaind only in fairystories. There, he met something even the C.I.A doesn’t have a frigging clue about.There is, curiously, yet a bit of the Kerry inflected into young Marlowe who, otherwise, made the biggest career mistake he made in his entire life.

For someone who had aimed at commanding a fleet of the finest men’o'war from a 200 gun Falgship, sticking the hand up to take over the captaining of a flat bottomed leaky paddled wheeled steamer, and poop poop up some muddy boghole in Delaware is the wrong way to go about things. Thus did young Marlowe throw away his chance forever of hunting down the running Frog Fleet and blowing it sky high and take a few holds worth of loot. Besides which, slumming it on said wooden flat bottomed crate is a nasty way of going about getting a bit of rum and bum - but that’s one bit of Kerry inside the character of young Marlowe.

So, what does young Marlowe find at the end of his sojourn on a leaky seive? Bugger all really, except for one scrofulous, farting, inchoate, bone-idle, bloated, dry-docked old codger, Kurtz/Kerry. No wonder the script throws in, `The Horror, the Horror,’ the fag has to dissemble he has met something deep, something profound at the end of a horrible ordeal of leaving the gentle confines of the New Haven Yacht Club is grim stuff.

So, of course young Marlowe has to do in the old sack of bones: bringing Kurtz back out alive would expose the fiction boil on the foot ias some kind of genuis, hero and alround average moose shooting joe blow.Thus, young Marlowe mutters, yes of course, Kerry was clubbable to the young woman in white and, yes of course, bang goes the nuptials on the altar of human sacrifice but soliliquises, `That was close, if the old fart could move, it would be all over for America’. Marlowe then rushed off to make sure Kurtz is well buried and yes he is.

Thus Nostrodamus’ report on U.S. politics and elections was carefully worked into, to use the draft title of the book,
Karzan, Jungleman.