Mangled Thoughts

Next time you visit friends on a farm, do bother to converse with the cows on Wittgenstein. And chooks too, for that matter. On the other hand, the greatest puzzle I’ve seen cattle contend with, is trying to get at the grass on the other side of a fence, while chickens, are confused when presented with the temptation of snacking while trying to cling to their perch. Neither has one heard of Gertie the four legged milk factory rank with the greats, Cezanne and Maitsse for example, and while billy the rooster disturbs the sleep before the civil hour, never has one been lionised as a Basso Profundo in, say, Boris Gudonov. Unless I’m mistaken, Iam yet to run over or eat a chook found clutching the score to Berlioz’s Symphony Fantastique. It is a good bet too, no factory beast has shown evidence of Einsteinian brilliance in physics, nor are any noteable for their mastery in the kitchen, the great wines they have yet to make, nor architectural genius, their gardening, no Capability Brown in the making.

These days, too many humans are no better than meet, milk and egg factories.

Horns of a dilemma: bovines can have a cow of a day too
Jonathan Leake

The findings have emerged from studies of farm animals that have found similar traits in pigs, goats and chickens. They suggest such animals may be so emotionally similar to humans that welfare laws need to be reconsidered.

“Remarkable cognitive abilities and cultural innovations have been revealed,” she said. “

Donald Broom, professor of animal welfare at Cambridge University, will tell the conference how cows can become excited by solving intellectual challenges.

Surplies, Surplies:

The research will be presented to a conference in London next month sponsored by animal welfare group Compassion in World Farming.

I wish it were to the contrary. Why, I’d quick smart buy a few thousand of the geniuses, have them invent and produce all sorts of inventions, make fortunes every few years, then have them butchered. Spring lambs would have to be particularly bright, what, such a short time before being served up as Sunday Roast and so many things to startle the world with… tis true, real artistes die young. Baaaaaa.