Mangled Thoughts

A new wheeze is in the wind: bulging cross eyed little freaks are victims, and lawyers can hit good old taxpayer for compensation of victims of parents whose urge to procreate is criminal.

No, the headline referred to the antics of enthusiastic parents who are torn between the pleasure of watching their genetic droppings play sport, such as that pleasure is, and fancying themselves as boxers, belting up opposing players, umpires, the uglies of children on the other team. Perhaps if they had given each other a thorough belting when they were younger, they wouldn’t have contributed to the global warming apocalypse by dribbling out bits of DNA.

Meanwhile, Abbot was cuckolded, the son is not his son.Fat Aunty has made it its no.1 news report of the morning. Yawn. To be fair, Abbot’s freiend and mother of the boy raised the suspicion after a recent telephone call from someone who claimed he was the father. They had DNA tests, which showed, Tony’s, then, had not sprouted two legs, arms, bubbble eyes, a nut with blancmange rolling around in it.

Why is it, DNA dribble of ugly parents migrate swiftly to Fat Aunty Bolshevik Collective? That’s the real mystery.

Meanwhile, a calamity has shocked the Irish. The Irish Sea Scouts went camping for the first time and their tents sunk.