Seasons best.
Will finish off the Oz trad x-mas fare in the new year. Time, a bit later than estimated, to buzz off.
Won’t say, Happy New Year, the sentiment just doesn’t gel.
No new year’s resolutions either, the reverse eventuates…. on the other hand, in that light…
Cheers.
Best kept secret, it has to be for, who wants hairy, smelly Greeny goon squads turning up on their doorstep on the festal day? Exactly, if any dared, you’d shoot them and let them fertilise the garden.
First, a word on some of the essentials. Those who have not yet secured their’s, not to worry, you have the rest of the day and Saturday.
1. Shark, white-pointer type shark.Yes, one realises it has been made a criminal offence but, it is trad., so stuff the greeny police.
Ring up RAAF for a lift in a fighter craft to get you to where they’re hanging out pronto. No time to enjoy the sport, game fishing, so transfer to helo, hover over shark, fire gutsache, winch up carcass. Shark is delivered by Saturday by Hercules and helo to your backyard.
2. Crocodile :Take fighter Jet to top-end and do ditto.
3. Taipan, ditto to Canungra or, alternatively, put in a request to a regt. and the chaps will shoot you a couple, ice it and send it pronto.
4. Goanna, ditto where-ever they dwell, somewhere unpleasant.
4. Wombat, interstaters will have to do same but, to Victoria.Melbournians can take a short 4 hour round trip to say, Thornton, to collect a big, juicy, fat wombat.
5. Native birds, take air-rifle/ .22/ shotgun/sling shot into backyard and shoot the little bastards.
6. Kangaroos and wallabies, these oversized bubonic plague carrying rodents are all over the place, so shoot as many you care to eat - if you have all the relatives, you’ll need at least ten.
7. Ditto koala bears.
8. 5 lambs
9. 10 prime yearling beef
10 30 crayfish, bucket loads of other shell-fish.
11. 60 Quail, ditto partridge
12. 18 trout
That’ll do for now…, the rest will be filled in as we move through the bill of fare. I’m sure I’ve omitted some essentials of the above type but , not to worry.
Those heading off boxing day, split the fare in half, putting one lot in blocks of ice inside freezer semi-trailers attached to your car’s tow bar.Those planning Chrissy away, you’ll need two refrigerated semi-trailers attached to the rear end. . . don’t worry, she’ll be right. Those planning either way are blessed, they can stick the heel-kickers into one of them too, and enjoy a restful holiday without a peep out of the little buggers, they will be thawing out until after you have returned from summer vacation to the day when you boot them right back into the schoolyard : bliss.
Melbourne drivers are shockers at the best of times, the speed tax collection cameras don’t have any bearing upon stopping homicidal and suicidal tendencies of drivers. Pedestrians, to muse, like jumping out against lights and drivers motoring on. Bicycalists believe, when a driver is, for example, turning left, they ,from far behind,can none-the-less undertake. One berkcyclist tried that stunt aganst me why only this week.I nearly sent him into hospital but, somehow, he managed to get through: bad luck, I missed out on a hundred pointer score. Ralph Schumacher reckons, Melbourne drivers are the worst, but he hasn’t seen them during the advent season, which, annually, seems to bring out at their maniacal best.
Drivers everywhere but Melbourne work on the standard traffic signals. Well, yes, Melbournians do, in reverse order. While waiting for the traffic to clear to make a right hand turn Tuesday evening, the lights turned amber, the traffic kept flowing, and kept flowing after they had turned red. This explains why, no doubt, there have been a very large number of crashes at intersections, this season or, rather more than the regular large numbers throughout the year.
The antiquarian drivers can’t quite give up the old habit of stopping at amber, proceeding on green. Given magistrates in Melbourne have found in favour of drivers who drive dangerously, it is clear, antiquarians are always in the wrong. Overseas readers reading this with a sceptical eye-lid raised have, obviously, never motored around Melbourne during the advent season. Schumacher, I believe, hasn’t either at advent ventured the wild south, but, it is reasonable to assume, it wouldn’t surprise him one bit.
Grand Prix drivers are not particulalry fond of another road rule favoured by many Melbourne drivers. Indeed, when a racing driver has decided it is tickety-boo to do it, what usually happens is, the offended driver climbs out of his mangled wreck, saunters over to the other guy, who is pondering why the offended failed to obey the novel racing rule still seated in his steaming heap of crumpled junk, exchanges pleasantries and then biffs the bastard on the nose. Yes, the driver who, impatient, or simply would like to go faster, changes into a lane when a driver is already beside, say, the rear passenger driver’s side door. This week, one felt like the racer who does the biffing, as a zooted girly in a green plastic bubble took a fancy to the lane I was in. Having hooted the horn, she stopped, which of course entailed a car behind her slamming on his brakes and so on, and also cars behind me . She looked at me with a dumbed down blank stare which reminded me of nothing more than a dribbling village idiot. I didn’t get out and biff her on the nose, I shook my fist, mouthing polite correction to the adult. She must be possessed of all the maturity of a juvenile delinquent , she got upset and from what could be observed, she threw a tantrum: See, this is one grotesque upshot of commie govt., Brackistaniland (1).
This advent season has seen Melbourne drivers lift their game in the maniacs’ stakes, they hit upon a new joy. Forget the regular head-on collision, the tail-ender, the side-swipe, they’re for wimps. Who-ever invented this one, it has been all the rage for the past fortnight , crashing into buildings. An L plater, yesterday evening, for example, on a short straight section, in a slow street curling through a shopping centre, humped the curb into the plate glass of an office building. Whatever was engaged, it wasn’t her brain, nor the steering wheel, nor the brake pedal. I boggle at the L plated one, what she will be capable of when she is fully licenced. The driving technique described is called: the Building Demolition Job.
Even tiny tots can master this one, they’re off to a flying start, literally. This week, one 3 year old, climbed into the driver seat of the family hearse, in the garage, and, unlocked the brakes and shoved it into neutral. The 4wd rolled through the back wall of the garage and took flight for a long drop. The little bugger walked away unscathed.
Can’t wait for the day when the little bugger will have learnt to start engine, engage gears and, well, move, but this is a good clue: A lady driving along a street showed fine style in taking a curve. She ventured to put a new straight side street into a neighbourhood by driving into a garage. Her effort was textbook Building Demolition Job driving, having collapsed not only the garage door, but some crucial roof supports. A mark off, however, the residents cars were not in the garage at the time.
She was in breach of O.H.&S., the rule being: You must not actually be inside the building, even if seated inside the demolition machine, when you demolish the building. O.H.&S., however, does not apply to the driving definition of the Building Demolition Job, which is to wreak as much devestation as possible including to your own vehicle, and, the driver must be, it is definitely part of the code, must be in trhe car, in the driver’s seat, this is not negotiable. Failure to be in the driver’s seat will put a judge off finding in favour of said driver and thus ordering the victims to pay compensation and all costs to the Building Demolition Job driver.
The technique has caught on, I’ve lost count of how many buildings have been converted into developers’ greenfiled sites, from light house garages to muti-storied office buildings. As I say, it is all the rage. Why, only this morning, another driver successfully executed the B.D.J. against an office block. This is besides, the meeting of an antiquarian with a post modern deconstructionist in an intersection, and a rather large number of crashes blocking, for about the umpteenth time in a fortnight, major arteries. This is Melbourne drivers at their maniacal best, executing major arteries blocking crashes simultaneously, forcing all other drivers to converge onto other roads which entails a trip time of , 2-3 hours instead of the regular 20minutes to 3/4 of an hour. The reason is plain, it is about inflicting excruciating pain on the majority of drivers. Say, 6 or so drivers, they pull off the Simultaneous Reduction of Highways into ruddy little urban avenues, and you are in the picture. Throw in a truck, even better. The sheer pleasure Melbourne drivers derive when they manage this stunt, at least once a week, is naked to see.
I’m heading off early this afternoon for a week and a few days long break . One will not feel safe until one is well clear of the bastards, motoring along open country roads which the blisters don’t use because, they don’t have a clue about those routes, thank god. For, yes, come the summer vacation season, having been on top of each other all year long, come, they all drive off together, and, live on top of each other - not where I’m going, thank god, and, yes, crash together on main highways, the only routes, thank god, those headless chooks are familar with.
Yes maniac season commences in advent and continues on and on and on all through the summer. Which is why, New Year’s Eve is always tolled in by some smashing maniacal techniques of post moderne deconstructionist driving. Schumacher said, Melbourne driver’s are frightening, but he’s only seen them at their best and in the off-season. He should venture down-under to Melbourne during Advent.
Deck the halls with bent bumper bars, tra la la la la.
Good King Wenscles last looked out, on a Melbourne Street,
Which is why he’s dead.
Ding Dong Merrily on High, that’s the D.B.J. a ringing.
Riding in the drag, in a four wheeled bubble car, no hands on the wheel..hey.
Silent night, holy night, round yond corner comes a maniac…
O come, o come, Emanuelle, in your big 4WD,
To block the roads and smash my panels…
I’m dreaming of a maniac free Christams, like the ones I never knew…
Noel, noel, sang the great ambulence men….
Born in Melbourne this morn is one more little bugger behind a steering wheel…
`Hark!’ The Herald Angels did sing,` Quick, Get out of Melbourne if you wish to live…’
….
(1) Next year, one might just document the Brackistaniland infantilisising of Melbournians with a long list of examples. Not today, of course … I am paying heed to the Herald Angels this afternoon.
Have just skimmed through the bill. It does contain extensive police state powers. More-oever, in addition to the clear coerive violence to be exercised aginst parents who teach their children at home, or pay, say a retied professor to do so, the bill covers all the way to universities and note that irony.
The left continually bleat and rant about the preservation of the independence of the universities, yet it was the Hawke ALP Cabinet, with Dawkins as the Minister, which pushed through measures which interfere directly, through administrative controls, into the internal affairs of universities. Bracks’ bill exceeds what Hawke and Dawkins rammed though the federal Parliament, and how. This Bill amounts to direct political interference in universities, as well as schooling, rendering them, and professors subject to the capricious whims of the goon squads which are to be set up to enforce the bill once it is passed. Professors and tutor will no longer be masters of their fields, they will have to comply and be approved by the leftoid shites who stuff the department of education and the new goon squads. So, leftoid screamers, what is it you were saying about the Howard Govt.?
Those who teach their children at home, or have someone reliable to do it, say a retired professor, or someone just who are literate in the three rs and can drill them in to children unlike many who stuff govt. schools, are subject to all the provisions of the bill. ( Teaching `qualifications’ are meaningless, absolutely, they are crap).
The bill invents more, many more, novel crimes unheard of in Common Law, as usual of the Stalinist Junta. It is a puntive criminal offence for example, for parents to refuse admission into their homes the `inspectors of the new goon squad. Yes, they can be arrested.
The bill contains all that I have said, the Bracks lead ALP Cabinet are building a totalitarian stalinist junta which will be a joint rule between polticians and bureaucrats with goon squads as enforcers of their tyrannous dictatorship. The provisions of the bill entail a major increase in that joint stalinist dictatorship.
….And the whiners against Howard are, silent, all of them silent.
But, here are a few details which indicate the bill is just one more brick in what is proving to be a very short road to the full realisation of a Stalinist totalitarian dictatorship, in more:
Overseas readers might assume, surely it is an exaggeration to call the Backs lead administration a Stalinist regime. Not at all. The Stalinist Junta has announced another totalitarian police state measure, aimed at forcing children into the commie brainwashing camps the Junta purveys, at great burden to real taxpayers, schools run by the goon squad of brainwashers called The Department of Education.
Pressure on home students
Jane Metlikovec
22dec05STAY-at-home students could be expelled from the house and marched into the classroom under drastic new laws being proposed by the Bracks Government.
Readers will notice, the bill is consistent with all the other totalitarian `laws’ the Stalinists have rammed through parliament: the establishment of a goon squad which will serve the Junta by using violence against decent people, and invade their private property, and use coercive violence against each individual in the home:
“ education inspectors will have the power to demand access to a home-schooled student’s work …”
To repeat, the clear implication is, the Junta has invented another means to weild violence against anyone in Victoria. The implication is clear, agoon squad of inspectors will turn up on doorsteps and demand entry into the house, and inspect what is none of their dmaned business. This is the sort of `law’ the Junta has raised in many Acts angainst businesses.
Some readers might assume one has exaggerated in saying, on, for example, O.H.&S. No, one has not exaggerated. It should shock readers but many in business in Victoria are afraid of the Junta and its goon squads and what they can do to them. Bracks has now committed what I have raised again and again, and again, and as recently as in the posts immediately below: the next step, to od it to anyone who is not an employer, is not a business owner. He is now doing it to all and sundry.In fact, he initiated it with his `law’ against clubs for children. Now the Junta is brazenly open about their aims.
Stalinist regime? Oh yes indeed, it is a Stalinist regime complete with Stasi-KGB-Gestapo goon squads who do weild real secret police, jackbooted `powers’ to commit violence against any they, and this is in many of the Acts passed so far, they merely declare is a criminal.
Bracks is not even a Christian, forget is much fan-fared devotion to the Catholic Church. Neither is Bronwyn Pike, Cabinet Minstress and Uniting Church prelatess. Bronwyn Pike, in view of she is also a prelatess, is an anti-christ.
It is a totalitarian, stalinist regime.
The Governor General of Victoria must do his duty and face up to the stalinist bastards. They should not only be sacked. The4y must be charged and convicted of treason, for they are usurping the rule of common law, economic liberty, and imposing a stalinist totalitarian regime.
Notice, the totalitarian goons who now stuff the not at all `public service’ are in full cry, using flimsy excuses to justify this one more stalinst measure - readers will refer to what I wrote in the post titled, Send Sisely and the Stalinist Regime of Brackistaniland a Nervous Breakdown , under the section heading, A conversation with a judge interrupted by two mandarins and made unpleasant, on the types who now stuff the not at all and never was `public service’.
To repeat what one wrote in:The Vic ALP, A Stalinist Totalitarian Regime.
Notice, all those screaming against Howard, including the leftoid crappers of Civil Liberties, are mute against the truly Stalinist Bracks lead ALP Regime of Victoria. So, too, the socialist slobs who pretend to be apostles of christ, who, with the full backing of Archbishops and Moderators, and those charlatans called sociologists, fully supported the medieval, totalitarian blasphemy `law? - they are not apostles from christ, they are liars, they support totalitarianism because, they are bloody socialists too - both leftie clerics and `traditionalist? clerics alike. So too, Mal Fraser, so too, Doyle, over the Blasphemy `law?. Silence, all of them silent, the hypocritical bastards.
And:
The Governor General of Victoria must do his duty: The Bracks Cabinet and its goon squads, inclusive of HEROC, are lawless criminal totalitarians, they are committing crimes, committing treason by the overthrow of common law, and are using violence, real violence against lawful men and women. Is the G.G. a spineless, craven, socialisto prick, or is he honourable and thus prepared to face his duty in face of a criminal, Stalinist, Regime?
One will repeat my prediction for the year ahead:
what the Bracks Stalinist cabinet has foreshadowed, and hinted at, my new prediction is, they will accelerate the totalitarian progrom.
What one ommitted to say, and should have added is:
In order to complete it, as much as possible, and in view of , the elction due to fall late in the year 2006. That is plenty of time for the Junta to fully realise what are their unambiguous aims. And, as I wrote in, the Bill of Rights is a major measure for securing those aims.
The Junta is engaged in treason - the usurpation of the Rule of Coomon Law and thus too Parliament, for the latter is bound up with the former. It is engaged in commission of criminal violence against Victorians as the totalitarian police state measures, replete with jackbooted goon sqauds, shows, and as the new measures show. Treachery and high treason, They are Stalinists, they are criminals, and that they are traitors,usurpers, crimnals, Stalinists is now unambigiously in clear view. I commence saying so some years ago, and one has never been wrong about this pack of savage totalitarians.