Mangled Thoughts

Today’s ninemsn poll:

Poll: Are South Africa’s cricketers worse sledgers than the Aussies? vote now

Wrong, wrong,wrong.

The question should be: Who are the better sledgers?

On internet relay of U.S. radio station, WABL.

A lb of Proteins or a lb of Carbohydrates ? one of their staffers is interviewin people on the strreets. Some of the responses include:

`I love proteins.’

`I like proteins but they are heavier than carbohydrates.’

`I’m not certain but, I believe proteins are heavier.’

Needless to say, the radio section is called, `Cureve your I.Q.’ turing, for the benefit of Senator Campbell, the Coaltion, the ALP, Lambert, Fat Aunty Bolshevik Collective:Which Weighs More A lb of Proteins or a lb of Carbohydrates ?
One more hint to the dummies, eliminate `lb’.

One of the respondents is, a science teacher! She said, ` a lb of protein is heavier than a lb of carbohydrates’. She should apply for a job in a school in Oz, she would be headmistress in all of 3 days, you can tell, she’s a genius.

Oh: to another teacher, of history:

“When was the Civil war fought?”
She: `Umm, I don’t know.’

To same teacher:

`Who was the enemy in the Vietnam War?’
Her: `Umm, the Koreans.’

Interviewer: `Well, yes, the North Koreans were enemies, in the Korean War.’

Chief: You will imdediately leave the hotel by taxi for the airport, then, depart the airport in a taxi back to the hotel and return to the hotel, then…’ etc. etc.
Did you get all that, Max?

Smart: Not all of it, Chief.

Chief: What part didn’t you get ,Max?

Smart: The part after, `You will immediately leave.’

A code-words exchange:

Ist Agent: Apples
Reply: MacIntosh

More code-words: The Grateful Dead are alive and living in Beverly Hills.

Reply:

Simon and Garfunkel fell off the Tallahatchie Bridge.

Adams on a show before the Get Smart series:

Faversham [ Don Adams] : You think you’ve got me, but I have you surrounded by the entire mounted 17th Bengal Lancers.
Khan: I don’t believe you.
Faversham: Would you believe the First Bengal Lancers?
Khan: No
Faversham: How about Gunga Din on a donkey?

Some Photos here - the cone of silence always set my teeth on edge. Here’s Seigfried.

Frank is taking England’s Conquest of Oz hard, so a tip per above in the gentlest, nicest way is offered. Murph, you too, dear chap.

Damn those Pommy cricketers and their better form

Doctor punches patient in surgery 23:21 (AEDT) A JAPANESE doctor punched a patient during surgery and told him to “shut up” after the patient on local anaesthesia asked for the operation to stop, a news report said overnight.

The doctor then punched the patient’s forehead and said: “Stay still! Shut up!”

The report said the patient needed five days for his forehead to heal.

The journo threw in this line:

The doctor didn’t speed up the patient’s recovery.

Let’s speculate:

Patient yells, `Bonzai!’, as the Doc. injects the anaesthetic.

The local wasn’t sufficent to quite deaden the pain of being cut open. that is deliberate, it is Bulshido, the way of the warrior to absord pain like a camel sucking in water.

The patient, however, chickens out, deciding the way of the Kamikase Patient leaves a lot to be desired when the local didn’t quite deaden the pain of being cut open.

Being a Samaurai, the Surgeon disciplines the patient with a right hook.

What’s wrong with that, I ask you, disciplining the patient? Sounds regular to me.

I’m taking up a new career as a Samurai Surgeon.