From the March 11 Late Show with David Letterman, the “Top Ten Messages Left on Eliot Spitzer’s Answering Machine.” Late Show home page: www.cbs.com
10. Hey, what’s new?
9. It’s Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Nevermind.
8. Ralph Nader here, glad to hear I’m not the only politician who has to pay for it
7. I’m calling from the ‘New York Post.’ Would you rather be known as ‘Disgraced Gov Perv’ or ‘Humiliated Whore Fiend’?
6. This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln’s wife
5. It’s Dr. Phil, call me if you need any horse**** advice
4. This is Senator Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?
3. It’s Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way
2. Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free
1. It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I’m no longer America’s creepiest governor
March 12th, 2008
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Zimbabwe, the jewel in the crown of Leftist Political Philosophy, is starting to closely resemble the novel Atlas Shrugged.
President Robert Mugabe, who faces a tough re-election later this month, on Sunday signed a Bill giving locals the right to take majority control of foreign companies
Would the last one out, please remember to turn off the light. Or put out the fire, as the case may be.
March 12th, 2008
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Letterman’s ‘Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses’
From the March 10 Late Show with David Letterman, the “Top Ten Eliot Spitzer Excuses.” Late Show home page: www.cbs.com
10. Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring
9. Hookers is fun
8. Just trying to help the economy
7. Have you ever been to Albany?
6. It’s part of my new MTV prank show “Spitz’d”
5. Haven’t been myself since Roy Schieder died
4. Uh, tainted beef?
3. Whether it’s a hooker or your wife, you’re always paying for it — you married fellas know what I’m talking about
2. Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics
1. I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago
March 12th, 2008
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